I’m sitting in my apartment while construction workers jackhammer on the external walls just outside my apartment as part of a facade renovation project. I have dreaded this for years. Every New Yorker goes through it at some point but it is never easy. As someone who is incredibly sensitive to sound – among other things – my tolerance for the discomfort of this project is very low. I can feel my jaw clench, my shoulders hike up, and my thinking squeezed into nothingness. I have ceased to function.
A little voice bubbles up inside when I find myself in situations like this. As horrible, painful, hateful as they may be, they won’t last. That little voice tells me “It won’t always feel like this.”
When I hear that little voice, I relax, even if only a little. My jaw unclenches, my shoulders slide back down into place, my thinking becomes just a tiny bit more spacious. Of course I’ll clench up and have to release countless times during this process, but that feels very different from one continuous period of “I CAN’T TAKE ONE MORE MOMENT OF THIS!!!!!”
For many people on an Intuitive Eating path, there are times like this. A changing body, injuries or illnesses that disrupt a movement practice, encountering the masses still un-woke to the revelation that is Intuitive Eating, any number of obstacles and challenges.
It feels bad. Intolerable. Insurmountable. Yuck. Ew. Nope to the nope.
But one thing is certain: It will not always feel this way.
Notice how it feels, in your worst moments, to acknowledge this truth. To allow yourself to feel just as bad as you do while also giving yourself the compassion and kindness that are your birthright.
Let me know how it goes and know that I’m right there with you.