Be an imperfect meditator

It's been about 75 days (plus, for many of us) of sheltering in place to varying degrees. One of the things that has gotten me through (besides the purchase of two beautiful caftans) has been a morning meditation practice, these days offered via Instagram live at 9 am eastern.

I've been reading from one of my favorite Pema Chodron books, Comfortable with Uncertainty. Clearly a book for our times. After the reading, we meditate while I give instruction. I'm practicing too.

I texted a friend the other day, "The monotony is killing me." Then I thought, where have I experienced this kind of monotony before?

Then I realized this period of time - of contracting, withdrawing, slowing down - has been much like an extended meditation retreat. Though the ratio of sitting meditation practice to everything else is very different, this experience has shown me as much if not more of myself (my habitual tendencies, my preferred escape hatches, my ways of hiding or defending) than any meditation retreat has done.

Had I not cultivated the meditation practice that I have over the past 12 years - at times not sitting at all, at times hanging on by the skin of my teeth with 5 minutes a day, other times having a longer and more stable practice - I might not have seen the similarities and their inherent value.

Had I not kept my meditation practice "close" by letting it be imperfect and not letting it get too far away from me, I'm not quite sure how I'd be doing in this situation.

When I say "Be an imperfect meditator," I'm not suggesting you be like me. Rather I'm drawing from my own experience, the experience of my students and clients, and the scientific literature that shows even as little as 7 or 8 minutes a day has real benefits in our real lives.

Could you give yourself permission to have a meditation practice (if that's something you have ever wanted for yourself) that is less than perfect? I can vouch that it's been more than worth it.