We need each other

I’ve learned that I’m an extroverted introvert. That is to say that I can exist in and even enjoy spaces with other people but that I really do need to be alone in order to recharge and reset. Because of that tendency, any time something gets out of balance – for example, anxiety or depression – I tend to overdo the alone time.

I feel “not fit for public consumption” and fall prey to the idea that I can collect myself by myself before reconnecting with the people in my life. This has always led me to problems, in the past involving alcohol, food, diets, online shopping, binge-watching, etc.

Now, I try to find some balance in how I recenter myself when I’m off kilter. Because I recognize that it is the very presence of other nervous systems – not just any nervous systems, mind you, but those that I find uniquely regulating – that helps me find my equilibrium. I didn’t have much context for this until I started learning about polyvagal theory, which is in part about how we need others to feel safe, connected, and ourselves.

We are wired for connection, meaning we need to feel we belong.

Ironically, when dealing with our relationship with food, the tendency is to try to go it alone. We falsely believe that we are the only ones who struggle to eat regularly, to stop when comfortably full, to regulate emotions without self-medicating with food, and whatever it is you are thinking about right now that you believe makes you uniquely broken. (Pssst…you’re not broken.)

Working with someone like myself, an RD, on your relationship with food, helps you start to recognize the power of connection in moving through difficulty. But that one-to-one relationship is limited. It’s one thing to share what you feel are shameful secrets about food with a professional and another thing entirely to share such a thing among others struggling with the same issues.

This is exactly why I created the Intuitive Eating for Life community. You deserve access to other women who aspire to transform their relationship with food and body. And the connections that you make, the regulation your body experiences when you join our live gatherings, the courage you gain to try things just outside your comfort zone – that is where the magic happens.