How to approach personal exploration as a self-regulation technique
Noticeably different from distracting and soothing, personal exploration involves moving toward your discomfort in accessible ways. You might choose behaviors from this list when you feel safe and stable enough to directly engage with what is happening in your life but perhaps not yet ready to ask for help. Many of the options normalize what you are experiencing, which may allow shame to dissipate so that you can reach out to others for support.
Reading: Books, articles, and specific Intuitive Eating–aligned social media
accounts may provide supportive content that both addresses your in-the-
moment feelings and provides ideas about a way forward. A list of suggested
resources is provided at http://www.newharbinger.com/49401.
Self-help books are not the only options here (and clearly I have no
objection to self-help books!). Memoir, fiction, and nonfiction social com-
mentary can also create incredible connections and feelings of being seen
and understood.
Listening/participating: Podcasts, webinars, and platforms like Clubhouse
let you listen to experts discuss their subjects. You may also hear the per-
sonal experiences of others dealing with similar feelings. The pandemic
engendered an incredible number of remote classes. When focused on
letting go of dieting, living an anti-diet life, and improving body image,
these courses offer not only specific guidance and reflection but also com-
munity and connection with others. A partial list of suggested podcasts and
courses is provided at http://www.newharbinger.com/49401.
Journaling: Many writers write to figure out how they feel; they don’t come
to the page knowing exactly what they are going to write. Similarly, writing
may allow you to discover what is going on inside. There are various
approaches to journaling, including unstructured writing, responding to
prompts, and morning pages. Unstructured writing could be done at regular
times each day or irregularly when the mood strikes. There is no guidance
on what to write. Journaling prompts, on the other hand, suggest a topic
or contemplation to stimulate your writing. Consider the topics listed under
Contemplations below for some ideas. Morning pages are a practice introduced
by Julia Cameron in her book The Artist’s Way. Morning pages consists of writing
three pages longhand every morning to dump out whatever arises from the
mind to the page. It is often done as part of a morning routine that may
include a meditation and creative writing practice.
Workbooks: Workbooks provide a framework to approach topics such as
self-compassion or acceptance and commitment therapy. They can be done
in a structured or unstructured way, whether you complete them sequen-
tially, jump around, or only access them when you feel the need. The beauty
of workbooks is they help you take concepts into embodied practice. Some
of my favorites include:
* The Intuitive Eating Workbook (4th edition) by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, 2017
* The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer, 2018
* ACT Made Simple: An Easy-to-Read Primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Russ Harris and Steven C. Hayes, 2019
* Your Body Is Not an Apology Workbook: Tools for Radical Self-Love by Sonya Renee Taylor, 2021
Meditations: Substituting for your discursive mind another object of attention is a definition of meditation I hold dear. The following is a list of different ways to focus your attention. Instructions can be found at http://www.newharbinger.com/49401.
* Shamatha: an open-eye breath awareness practice of feeling, allowing, and being with yourself.
* Lovingkindness: a meditation in which you wish for safety, health,happiness, and a life of ease for yourself, a loved one, a neutral person, an enemy, and ultimately all beings.
* Compassion: a meditation in which you offer wishes for the relief of suffering for yourself, a loved one, a neutral person, an enemy, and ultimately all beings.
* Self-compassion: a variety of practices in which you offer kindness to yourself.
* Tonglen: also known as the practice of sending and taking, this meditation guides you to breathe in suffering and breath out relief.
* Gratitude: a practice in which you intentionally appreciate what you are grateful for.
Contemplations: In contemplations, you place your attention on a specific
statement or idea. When the mind wanders, you bring your attention back
to that object. When you do contemplations, begin and end with five
minutes or so of shamatha meditation to settle the body and mind. Some
ideas to contemplate include:
* “My body is okay as it is.”
* “I am the only expert of my body.”
* “I am one of millions challenging the diet culture.”
* “I can be with difficult emotions.”
* “It matters that I am feeling, allowing, and being with my strong emotions.”
* “The world is moving toward Intuitive Eating.”
MINDFUL MOMENT: What Kinds of Personal Exploration Appeal to You?
In your journal, identify two forms of personal exploration that appeal to you.
Come to a quiet seated position and connect with your body. Consider some-
thing you are currently working with and imagine how you might explore it. Does
journaling appeal to you? What kind? Could you imagine delving into a workbook
or exploring a concept in a contemplation? Don’t wait for whatever issue you are
working with to become a crisis. Try engaging with it through personal exploration
now and see how that affects the trajectory of your experience.