What to say when your boundaries are violated

Setting boundaries around conversations, comments, questions, and anything having to do with bodies, diets, restriction, and weight is a lot of hard work. One thing that can help is to have some statements at the ready so you don't have to always think on your feet, when in fact you might already be triggered. Consider the following:

What text message could you send ahead of time to someone who often comments on your body, their own body, or the bodies of others?

Here's one option:
"Hi there, I'm looking forward to seeing you soon. Last time we were together you made some comments about bodies that were difficult for me to hear. I wonder if you would be conscious of that and refrain from making body comments. Then we can really focus on one another!" 

What statements might be useful to have on hand when sitting around the dinner table with a bunch of folks?

Here's two possibilities:
- "Can we please change the subject. I'd much rather hear about that trip you took!"
- "I find this conversation insensitive. How about we change topics?"

And how might you respond if someone says something directly to you or about you in your presence?

Two more possibilities:
- "I find that comment hurtful." [stand your ground and don't say another word to soften your statement]
- "I'm sure you don't mean to be harmful, but what you just said is insulting and hurts my feelings." [again, just breathe, don't apologize]

Remember to be patient with yourself. This is a steep learning curve. If you want to do a deep dive into this topic, check out the Navigating Fatphobia with Family and Friends workshop next Wednesday, October 25th from 6pm to 7:30pm. Hope to see you there!